


Abandonment Act

by GhostTEETH



Series: Black Mesa: Dead By Daylight [3]
Category: HLVRAI - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Isolation, Light Angst, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, They/Them Pronouns For Benrey (Half-Life), They/Themrey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 19:08:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28979379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostTEETH/pseuds/GhostTEETH
Summary: Gordon wonders what happened to make the Science Team so suddenly ghost him.
Series: Black Mesa: Dead By Daylight [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2117370
Comments: 18
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Not my dumbass not being able to find this for a hot minute because I titled it "Uhhhhhh backstory shit" on my Google Docs and I thought it was for my original characters
> 
> I am struggling to write this I have not slept in nearly 24 hours because depression go black hole brain mode and there is nothing in my head today so any typos or whatnot are welcome to be pointed out thank you you are all wonderful

Benrey had come back.

It’d been two months, probably to the second, since they had been defeated by the Science Team on Xen, that Benrey crashed back into existence. Specifically, Tommy’s couch in the middle of movie night. On top of Bubby.

Respawning after being a big boss and fighting off a parasitic hivemind planet was not poggers in any fucking way, and it was a goddamn sidequest and a half to get even close to recovering. Let alone find an optimal place to respawn. Not a concern at the time. Besides, how were they supposed to know that movie night was a thing? What the fuck was a  _ movie,  _ bro?

Gordon tossed another hat towards Benrey, knowing that they liked having hats to cover their head. “I, uh…” Gordon shifted on his feet, “I stitched some extra fabric into it. It should be a little heavier. Not like your helmet, of course, but…”

Benrey stared at the hat that sat in their lap like it was the most glorious thing in existence.

“Heavier.” Gordon finished, running his hand through his hair.

Despite everything, Gordon was honestly eighteen different kinds of delighted that Benrey was back, and he was doing a damn poor job at hiding it. He’d essentially thrown various hats at Benrey now, this was actually the fourth hat, and given them a place to live while they adjusted to being… not a Black Mesa experiment.

But shit, man. His friend was back. And he was happy about it. Really happy about it.

Benrey had stayed at Gordon’s for a while, learning to cook from him, and absolutely failing at not speedrunning a crush. Benrey ended up beating that world record, in fact. They were head over heels.

That’s why they moved out. Because you’re supposed to ghost someone when you fall in love… right?

Right. Yes. Absolutely.

Gordon had become clingy, almost. Which was to be expected. Benrey was playing hard to get, they knew that they had to play hard to get because that’s what you do when you like someone. And Benrey knew that’s what you have to do because Benrey is smart. Big brain over here, more big brain than Gordumb PHDman with his curly locks and freckles.

  
  


“Benrey?” Ah, fuck. Gordon was talking.

“huh.”

“Do you like it?” Gordon asked, fidgeting in place.

“what?”

“The hat. Do you like it?”

Oh. The hat. Did Benrey like the hat? “it’s ok.” (It’s the best thing they’ve ever seen in their entire existence.)

Gordon’s face fell. “Oh… well, hey. At least you have a spare hat!” he said, forcing a smile. Benrey nodded, leaning back on the couch. Gordon looked around. “Do you… want anything to eat?”

This was… not going as Gordon planned. He hadn’t seen Benrey in a week, since they were always doing stuff with Tommy. Hell, he’d found out they’d both been hanging out with Coomer and Bubby, and he had no idea what to do about it. Texts and responses from the others had been hard to get, and the anxiety about not being good enough or being left behind was returning to Gordon with a vengeance. He wasn’t sure what had happened, or what he’d done to fuck up. Or if he’d even fucked up at all.

A loud buzz startled him out of his thoughts. Benrey blew out a bit of sweet voice before standing. “tommy is here to take me to mario kart land” they hummed.

Oh.

Okay.

Gordon nodded. “Mario Kart’s fun, hope you have a good time.”

“thanks bro, gonna blueshell some fuckin nerds, first place. all the achievements.” Benrey said, brushing by Gordon. “bubby wont know what hit him.”

_ Oh. _

_ Okay. _

“No… he won’t.” Gordon mumbled to his now empty apartment. He snorted, tossing his phone to the recliner. “Just cut my other hand off, why don’t you?” he mumbled, tears pricking his eyes.

Despite the hollow pain, Gordon shot Benrey a text.

_ Let me know when you get home! _

He flopped onto the couch, closing his eyes. His whole body ached, feeling weighed down by the entire world. Fuzz overtook his brain, and he let himself drift off.

  
  


_ There is blood everywhere, and Gordon can’t stop screaming. His arm burns, now at a jagged stop, his hand gone. He looks up, and his friends stare down at him. “Cut him open.” Benrey says in a rage-tinted monotone. Coomer and Bubby start laughing, and Tommy smiles, raising a scalpel. Gordon starts begging, asking them what they’re doing, what’s happening. _

_ It hurts, it hurts, it- _

  
  


“Fucking hell…” Gordon started to lift himself off the floor, pausing to grab his head. He drowsily looked up to the clock, confused to see he’d been out for nearly ten hours.

Shakily, Gordon got to his feet and rubbed his eyes. He paused before letting out a loud groan.

Where the fuck were his glasses?

After what felt like an eternity, Gordon unlocked his phone, glasses having been found and now on his face.

No notifications.

Anxiety crept up in his throat. Had Tommy and Benrey gotten in a crash? Were they able to get home safely? Why wouldn’t-

_ Read at 3:21 pm. _

The anxiety grew stronger, and without thinking, Gordon sent off another text.

_ Get home safely? _

Five minutes passed, and Gordon was pacing, trying to calm himself. Benrey probably just forgot to respond and was asleep. That was the easiest answer, and the most probable answer. If something had happened, Coomer or Bubby would have texted Gordon. Yes, that made sense. Everything was fine. They were all okay.

Anxiety settled, just slightly, Gordon figured he might as well take his meds and  _ actually _ go to bed. Like, fuck, it was one am. What else was he going to do?

Despite having slept for so long already, Gordon was out like a light.

  
  


In the morning, there was a response.

**Benrey-Boi**

_ lol forgot to respond sorry bro _

Gordon huffed a sigh, relieved to know that everything was ok.

_ All good, man. _

_ I might be going to the park later, want to come with? _

A read notification popped up, but no response came.

Gordon tried to ignore it, fill the day with other things. Maybe Benrey didn’t want to say no? Maybe they thought it was the same park that a portal had showed up in, even though Gordon had made it clear he didn’t want to go to that park for a while. Not until he was sure there weren’t going to be any portals. But maybe it was just a miscommunication, and Benrey wasn’t sure? Or had forgotten.

The next morning, there was still nothing.

He texted Tommy. A meme. Something he knew would make Tommy laugh. Tommy sent back a smiley face.

There was nothing from the others.

Quick, empty responses turned into read notifications, and suddenly it’d been a week since they’d talked to Gordon.

His anxiety was through the roof, and he wasn’t sleeping. What had he done wrong? Why were they suddenly ignoring him? What was going on? Were they… planning something? Another attack?

Gordon held his head, shaking, the deep breathing exercises he’d learned doing nothing to help him calm down. What was going on? Why was this happening  _ now _ ? Everything had been going great until Benrey moved in with Tommy. Or… maybe not? Maybe he’d made Benrey uncomfortable and Benrey didn’t want to be near him.

This was going on for too long, honestly. He was just running himself in circles.

“Well…” Gordon mumbled. “At least there hasn’t been any portals.”

An echoing wind blew through his living room, and the smell of autumn leaves brushed by him. In his hallway lay a shimmering portal.

“Spoke too soon, of fucking course,” he sighed loudly.

Gordon stared, waiting for skeletons to pour out.

But nothing came out beyond the sound of wind through trees.

He  _ really _ didn’t need this.

Just as he was about to text the Science Team, he felt a tug, like someone had tied a rope around his waist. He looked back at the portal and stared once more, taking a careful step closer.

A soft cry sounded from the portal, and Gordon froze. It sounded like…

_ Joshua. _

The tug was stronger this time, and he went on autopilot, stepping even closer, throwing cautiousness to the side.

And then he was tumbling through the air, cries and laughter whipping around him.

Once his fall through empty space stopped, he saw that he was in front of a campfire. It crackled quietly, a journal just barely illuminated in the light. Gordon looked around and scooped it up, opening it to read the first page.

_ “For whoever finds this, I have written down whatever I can to help you find an escape. Hopefully I have found one myself and am not cursed to be trapped here forever. But no matter my fate, I hope this helps you. This is how to appease the entity…” _


	2. For The Readers!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some housekeeping stuff!

I just wanted to do a quick lil thing here for everyone who has read and commented!!  
You are all so kind, first of all, like I'm actually blown away by how much ya'll like it! It means SO MUCH to me, especially since this was a random thing I started at like, 2am after playing Dead By Daylight for a while. It makes me so happy, and it also scares me because ah fuck I've given ya'll standards now and i have to maintain them and i am not good at that

So a few things!

\- I will 100% be adding more to each of the chapters that has been published as of now (1/25/2021)! They're very very short and I want to go more in depth in them, so while they probably won't change too much, I want to do some grammar fixes and edit for flow and dialogue.

\- I will be experimenting with POV in these, but it will mainly focus on Gordon!

\- Suggestions are ALWAYS welcome! Sometimes I get stuck and reading what people are curious about gives me a push in the right direction!

\- I will be doing more lore on the Entity in this universe, as well as G-Man's whole "role" in everything. For now, Gordon is going to suffer. I am kicking this man in the head repeatedly.

\- Yes I wrote the Science Team as being shitty to Gordon and there is a REASON for it (beyond me venting about my own personal shitty friendship issues), but 100% feel free to dunk on them. Communication is important and Gordon is doing too much of the work.

\- Benrey doesn't have all of their powers as of now. Respawning is a fuckin CHORE, man.

\- Gordon's "killer" form is inspired by: The Trapper, The Blight, Killer Nea designs I've seen (I main Nea and am very in love with her in general), The Twins (Surprise!!!!), The Nurse, and, my personal favorite Killer, The Hag. I haven't made any art of it, but I do plan to do something with the design! I've been experimenting with special effects makeup under the guidance of a good friend of mine, so I'm going to try to do something with that!

\- Joshua is, in fact, dead in this series. I have mentioned this at some point, but to clarify, yes. He has passed. The backstory here isn't too important as of now, but I might write it in later because I've been reading Paradise Lost and Dante's Inferno.

\- Commenting headcanons fuels me, do it, do it do it do it.

\- There will be fluff, I promise. Fluff slow-burn.

\- Finally, I'M SO SORRY IF I'VE MADE YOU CRY ARGH I LOVE YOU AND I AM GIVING YOU A HUG!!! A few people commented that they cried n I'm like OH NO while also being like HELL YEA I CAN EVOKE EMOTIONS. But seriously, I'm giving you serious love from my computer screen, you deserve good things and I'm sending you the support you need!!! Feel free to vent in the comments a bit if you need to, this is a safe place ! I can't guarantee I'll respond in a decent timeframe, but I do read every comment I get!

Once again, thank you all so so much!!!


End file.
